Em-Pathetic
And in my adult life, I’ve found that the people who self-proclaimed empaths are often some of the most toxic and pathetic people I’ve ever encountered.
Which is ironic, because apparently I am one.
I saw a Reel recently that was basically my entire personality dissected and explained back to me in 30 seconds. It was breaking down different personality types and, specifically, the rare combination of genuine empathy and heightened pattern recognition. It described people who don’t just pick up on what others are feeling, but instinctively recognize the patterns, inconsistencies, and underlying motivations that might be missed by everyone else.
And, unfortunately for everyone around me, I think I am one of them.
It’s not just being aware of what someone is saying or feeling. It’s almost like I can’t help but dig a little deeper and notice the patterns underneath it. The inconsistencies. The little things that don’t quite add up. The shift in someone’s behavior. The why behind what they’re saying.
And it’s not that I’m on some sort of witch hunt, or moral high ground, actively looking for evidence that someone is full of shit.
I’m not collecting receipts.
But when you start overexplaining something, contradicting yourself, adding unnecessary details, or laying out all these little pieces of information that you probably think are helping your case...
I can't not notice them. -Once I see the pattern, I see the pattern.
And before this starts sounding like some woo-woo, crystals, howling-at-the-moon bullshit, I very much do not subscribe to any of that. I’m much more of a science, facts, and “show me the evidence” kind of person... which is probably also why I’m not even going to go down the rabbit hole of organized religion. That’s a whole other can of worms.
I digress...
I’ve mentioned before that people tend to think I’m dumb, and honestly, I let them. Because I love when stupid people try to play me for a fool. -It happens more often than you’d think.
What I may lack in traditional book smarts, I make up for in being hyper-aware of context, patterns, body language, tone, and ulterior motives. I might not always know the answer to something, but I am very, very good at knowing when something feels off.
I wish I could give direct examples from my life, but most of them are so wildly specific and long-winded that there is usually very little climax beyond me eventually calling someone on their shit, and me being right.
And then comes my favorite part:
I hate confrontation, so I’m not going to call someone out based on a hunch. I will give you every benefit of the doubt until I’m 100 percent certain.
When I finally say something, the best part is realizing they genuinely did not think I was smart enough to notice.
They thought I wasn’t paying attention. And the moment I finally call it out, their natural instinct is to play victim.
When People Fuck Around and Find Out
I actually like giving people the opportunity to make their own bed. -I’ll hear you out. I’ll let you tell your story. I’ll ask questions. I’ll play along. Hell, I’ll put a little chocolate on your pillow.
Because I don’t need to interrupt you while you’re actively proving my point.
I will let you talk yourself all the way into the corner.
And then, when I’ve heard enough, I’ll call you out.
This is usually when I suddenly become the cruel one. -I’m rude. I’m cold. I’m “being dramatic.”
Interesting.
Because you were the one being shady!
I am no saint. I am fully capable of being petty, dramatic, annoying, and occasionally a little bit of an asshole. I am not claiming moral superiority here.
But I genuinely think I underreact (to most things).
I give people a lot of grace. I observe. I process.
People sometimes mistake that for aloofness or not caring.
It isn’t.
I just haven't reached my limit yet.
And once I have?
The charade is over.
And honestly, I think the biggest thing I've learned about myself is my ability to cut people off.
I don't need to win.
I don't need an apology.
I don't need you to understand why I'm done.
I don't need to keep someone in my life just because we have history.
If something is toxic, I can cut the fat and never look back. I like feeling skinny.
And I am really good at it.
The people I've cut off are probably the frequent readers of this blog, because at this point, this is their only little alleyway back into my life. I have a collection of “I miss you” texts. -I would miss me too. But the feeling isn't mutual, shady boots!
And if you've ever considered yourself a victim of my actions? Just know you're trash, you are the dumb one and were found out… and I don't miss you.
LOL.
