...My friends will probably say it's Photoshop too.
"Some people die at 25, and aren't buried until they are 85."
Instead of committing a felony, I need to vent:
With Tom’s birthday approaching (finally 21) I thought it would be fun to sit down at my Penthouse Suite at 11 Howard Hotel and play some games for the blog!
I have come to the conclusion that living in Los Angeles has cheated me out of so much life.
Thank God Labor Day is over, fall is approaching, and everyone in LA is going to have to put on some clothes and find a personality.
As much as I love NYC, I can’t help but feel I am going to be the victim of Final Destination!
I would rather go to Afghanistan than go #2 [in public].
We are moving on to the A.P. life skill of "Elevator Etiquette". Rule #1, don't be fucking weird.
Forgive me father, for I have sinned (again / still).
This bitch couldn't prescribe me Xanex, so I am currently looking at getting her practice shut down.
Everyone makes fun of my Mary Poppins bag; until they had a rough day, and need a shot of vodka
I love rock and roll, but I think I like Totino's Pizza Rolls more.
I'd rather you bring a bomb on the plane, than to sit next to me with "home-made" food.
I am jealous of myself... I wish my life was as good as it appearson Instagram.
I think the biggest misconception of me, is that I am a know-it-all. As Bethenny Frankle would say, "Maybe I actually know-it-all!"
"RED!" is the safe word in Fifty Shades of Grey... I wish it was socially acceptable for me to scream "RED" in my day-to-day life
If everyone threw their dirty laundry in the middle of the room, how many of us would grab our own.
I went out in Hollywood last night. I had no idea body-con dresses were still a thing?
Honestly in LA, does anyone work? I mean, besides me?
Life is tough; wear a helmet. When I can't find a helmet to match my outfit outfit, I say "fuck it" and wear a whole floral [matching] look.
"You just think lovely wonderful thoughts," Peter explained, "and they lift you up in the air."
Let me prefix by saying: If you google-searched "eatass69" and got directed to this blog, you are definitely in the wrong place...
Portis Wasp: 5 Questions With Sektual
My Real Housewife's tag line would be, "I wish you could see yourself in my eyes! [twirl] ... SEKTUAL"
Happy Fourth of July! Time flies when your life is falling apart.
I came for the weather, I stayed because I am still stuck in traffic trying to get out.
Every one that I meet (in person) is shocked at how "nice" I am. Maybe they get the wrong impression by my sour disposition [on the blog].
Actually it's a powerful thing! It gives me endless self confidence, sensational dance moves, and the voice of an angel...Well, in my head.
Don't go to college. If you are looking to throw away thousands of dollars buy a nice car... in LA that's way more impressive than a diploma.