When you come to LA there are a few things you should never do...
1. Go to the Grove on a weekend
2. Bump Nelly's "Country Grammer" in your 2011 Jeep Liberty on Sunset Blvd.
3. Drive through Rodeo Drive in same, said vehicle.
4. Walk down Hollywood Blvd amongts the methy garbage pail kids
5. Get kicked out of Laurel Hardware for being too drunk
6. Fall at the top of the escalator at the Hollywood Bowl, because you were taking a picture.
7. Go to Bristal Farms just to take a dump.
8. Drink "Buzz Balls" in public.
9. Grab a CD from a Venice Boardwalk "Musician".
10. Do the celebrity bus tour. The double-decker one!
11. Consume your estimated monthly caloric intake, in one sitting at In N Out.
12. Doing the Macarena at Tocaya on a Friday night
13. Sit front row at the Comedy Store's comedy show.
14. Walk. The only acceptable times to walk are 'of shame...
15. Take the city bus.
I love having people come visit me, but in doing so, your reputation takes a bit of a hit in the activities that are being requested by your guests. Luckily my reputation is already shit, so when my sister, brother-in-law and friends came, it was debauchery! I think we successfully broke 14 of these 15 rules... -I'm sure you are probably wondering which of these cringe-worthy activities did they pass on ...and obviously we didn't take a city bus... We are savage, but we still have some form of self respect! I vowed to myself never to take public transportation after I fell victim to sitting next to a homeless woman... who was eating her own scabs. Social Suicide!