Alone, Not Lonely

Most people my age are finished having kids, on their second (or third) marriage, and probably own a house or 2; Meanwhile, I am over here too irresponsible to own a dog... and to be quite honest, struggling to take care of myself.  Somewhere along the line, my life passed, and I never found "my person".  I am self-aware...I know I am a hard one to love, and a tough one to even like.  I don't trust anyone, I am an extreme perfectionist, and have yet to get a firm grasp on reality.  -And those are my good qualities.  Just kidding!  I do have great instincts!  When something sounds fishy, I catch it...and it usually is.  I am quick to cut people off.  That's when when people pull the "You're crazy" card!  In the few instances [that I have given people the benefit of the doubt] I am inevitably reminded to trust my gut!  My path of self-discovery has left me single.  I understand how this could sound depressing, but I don't know any different.  Being "in love" sounds amazing...getting meals paid for, having a sound board after a hard day, and splitting rent... all sound like a rom-com to me.  -But it's not my real life.  In life, I am pressured to find a "better half" ...Maybe I am enough [myself] to fill the pie chart, alone.  -Anything to help me sleep better at night.  Maybe it's me, maybe it's LA, maybe it's both.  They say "Everyone in LA is a "10" looking for an "11".  I'm a solid "7" on a good day... most days a "5.5".  I guess I answered my question on that one.  At the end of the day, I am proud of what I've done, I like the person I am, and I hope for the best!  Fuck LA!