I need to vent.  I do not have kids.  -And unfortunately due to my apartments regulations, I am unable to own a dog.  In actively choosing not to have kids, when I am at a nice restaurant, I don't want to hear your little asshole crying, screaming, or running amok.  Let me live my best life ever, quietly enjoying my meal, in my anxiety-riden head of self-doubt.  Thank you!

I love animals.  In fact, I love most animals more than people.  I am too irresponsible to own a dog, so there is no reason I should ever step in someone else's dog's shit.  My shoes cost more than your monthly income, and it shatters the illusion of my social hierarchy when I am carrying fecal matter around on the bottom of my shoes all day.