Single & Fabulous?

I'm at a point in my life where this blind date better be "the one" or a serial killer because I have no desire to be doing this anymore.  Being single is hard!  I never have my dinners paid for, I have no one to split my cable and internet bills, and shaving my back is definitely a 2 person job!  Also, I have to put effort into my appearance everyday...  People always say "when you aren't looking, that's when you find the love of your life".  I don't want the love of my life, to mistake me for a homeless person! 

There are some upsides of being doesn't suck getting a full nights sleep; not having to worry about all these sluts in LA trying to stake my claim.  -And I definitely don't have to worry about gaining those extra 20 "comfort pounds" (that people in stable relationships gain).  Apparently once you think someone loves you, you give up on your body and let yourself go... Is that when the cheating starts?  Like I said, I'm not very good at all this dating stuff.