Miseducation of Sektual

I was never much of a school person.  I am more of a "it's not what you know, it's who you know" kid.  ...And now, you know me... So let me ghandi-fy you with useful tips I learned the hard-way...

  1. Everyone should already know:  Never make eye contact while eating a banana.  What men don't know, is they should never shake their protein shakes in public!  It looks very obscene...  If you get my drift.
  2. Homeless people in Santa Monica get pissed if you try to give them leftover food... They want cash.
  3. Avoid the Grove at all cost.
  4. If you go to the same bar more than twice, tip twice as much.  You will forever get served the quickest and stiffest.  The extra money you tip will be less than having to order another (weak) drink.
  5. If you ever want to feel what hell feels like, try banking at Wells Fargo.
  6. Wear sunscreen.  Believe me, I feel much better about my life when I'm tan.  My eyes look brighter, my teeth whiter, and somehow I appear to be 20 pounds skinner... but age spots and leather skin is not a good look on anyone. 
  7. Drinking vodka that hasn't been distilled more than 7 times is basically rubbing alcohol.  Drink good liquor and your head will hurt a lot less in the morning.
  8. Never wait in line for any H&M collaborations.  At the end of the day it's just H&M with better tags... and everyone will know it's not main line... and that you bought it at H&M
  9. Don't go grocery shopping hungry, to Target on payday, or to the bar with a broken heart.  Your bank account will thank me.
  10. Have Immodium A-D on you at all time.  Diarrhea doesn't wait for anyone.  **Side note:  do you guys remember that diarrhea song as a kid?  I made a new one:  When you're driving in your truck and that fart felt like an "Oh Fuck!"  DIARRHEA, diarrhea!
  11. A shot of apple-cider vinegar in the morning and at night will change your life is a multitude of ways.
  12. When you are young, eat as much Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust Pizza and Panda Express as humanly possible.  When your metabolism shuts down, your taste buds don't!  Enjoy it while you can!
  13. Be cautious when getting a tattoo!  Thank God I was, or I would have a tribal sun tattooed on my lower back.  I really dodged a bullet on that one!
  14. Be nice.  Stay humble.  -And always stick up for yourself.
  15. Don't go to college.  If you are looking to throw away thousands of dollars buy a nice car... in LA that's way more impressive than a diploma.
  16. When you find a Vince jacket... that was the missing link in your closet... on sale... in your size... you buy it!

Sunglasses Dior // Shirt Our Legacy // Shorts Zanerobe // Shoes Saint Laurent