New Year, Same Me

It’s almost the new year… I would love to say my New Year’s resolution would be to be a better person, but I would be lying… -And I hate people who talk about their resolutions. They are usually the ones that need the most help. Don’t talk about all the (endless) ways you need to change your life, actions speak louder than words. And I can pretty much guarantee your life will circling the gutter again this time next year.

With that being said, It’s my last chance to be a bitch in 2018 in hopes of starting 2019 with a clean slate, so let me vent about all the other annoying personalities I had to deal with this year.

The Know-It-Alls: People telling me how to workout, or what diet will work for me.  Baby girl, you shouldn't be preaching, you should be taking notes. My body is a temple and your body looks like a White Castle.  You didn’t gain weight over the holidays you were fat in July.  Thanks.

The Dramatic Complainers.  ...Those people constantly stirring up drama, and then constantly complaining about all of the drama.  [These people are easy to spot.  They will be heard saying "I hate drama."]  I can speak for the group by saying --"We all see what you are doing, and think you are a snake, and we are anxiously waiting for you to screw up so we can kick you out of our squad (without us looking like the assholes)."

The "Doctors":  These people watch an episode of Dr. Phil, don’t listen accurately and misconstrue information, and then instantly have “expert” knowledge. I am so tired of these ignorant people constantly saying “that will cause cancer”.  You didn't even finish High School, you are not a scientist.  Shut your uneducated mouth

The Hypocrites: Steer clear of these ones! They have no moral compass and they can’t be trusted because in an instant they will flip on you. Maybe it’s insecurity, maybe it’s Bi-Polor, but for sure they are horrible people, and definitely shitty friends.

The Never Wrongs:  I think I hate these ones the most!  I don't know what silver spoon they grew up with, but I will fork their shit up.  I am wrong all the time.  Everyone is.  My favorite past time is making these people look like idiots.  I turn into Judge Judy with my facts and figures to prove "these types" wrong.  When I prove them wrong (which I inevitably do...) they will throw anyone they can find under the bus to protect their ego. Since these people will never admit they are wrong I would love to be able to nominate people to go into a Hunger Games scenario to help natural selection take it’s course, except with the stipulation that they all end up losing. Too dark?