Single Pride

"Let's be 100 for a second... We have Gay Pride.  We have President's Day.  We even have Flag Day honoring flags, and Christopher Columbus Day celebrating a guy with a boat.  Who thought of this grand idea for yet another pointless holiday, Valentine's Day?!  What about us singles?!  We are the ones hearing all the drama and putting up with all the bullshit.  We are the friends who get ditched instantly when your boyfriend/girlfriend decides they do wanna hang out.  We are the friends that agree with you when you say "he's/she's a piece of shit" and when you inevitably get back together, we are the enemies because we called them a "piece of shit"!  We are the shoulder when he cheats, and the soundboard when you find out she's a drunk slut.  We, singles, are the greatest friends, and would be the perfect candidates to be in relationships... But we have standards and aren't starved for companionship like you other thirst mongrels.  So fuck all these couples in love.  I supported your marriage with a $100 present,  and I better get that shit back when it all ends divorce!  Let's celebrate us singles' who are the life of the party and out of your league"  I am Sektual, and I approve this message.