Maybe I should prefix by saying I live a fairly simple life.  I treat people the way I want to be treated, I love my Starbucks ice coffees, and I am a mild germaphobe.  

The first one is pretty self explanatory, so lets move forward...  I love Starbucks.  I don't know if they put MSG in their drip, the friendly staff that in 3 different locations all know my name, or that I am just a caffeine fein, but that Venti cup can turn any frown of mine upside down.  

-However- I have a major concern (where #3 comes to play)...  The Starbucks bathrooms are disgusting.  I don't need a bathroom concierge to hand me towels and mints after a flush, but I do think it is a serious health code violation for the FDA to step in.  Let me explain...

I DO NOT go to the bathroom in public unless it is a dire emergency.  When I step foot in any public lavatory, I am automatically putting myself at risk of contracting Clostridium perfringens.  -But when you are on Hollywood and Highland (sight seeing with your parents) and you are on coffee #2 for the day ...and nature calls....Starbucks bathrooms seem to be the most liable source.  Like most Starbucks, there were 2  co-ed/private washrooms.  As I was waiting in line, someone was blowing up one of the restrooms; so I was feeling optimistic when the guy in front of me [in line] exited before the "bowel movement bathroom".  I go in and the seat was down... I thought, "What a gentleman [ for putting the seat down]". I get closer and realize this muthaphucker never lifted the seat; he pissed all over it.  Now I am stuck with a major conundrum...wiping up the seat with 1-ply toilet paper, gagging, and properly using the bathroom  -or- continue on with his barbaric behavior and pee (not lifting the seat), and leave the line of females behind me to deal with the mess.  I was born with a very sensitive gag-reflex, but also brought up by respectable parents... so I cleaned it up; like the good samaritan that I am.  I swear some people have no class.  I bet some of you are looking at this outfit saying he has no class or style [for mixing these prints]... but fuck you I cleaned up someone else piss and only had watered-down hand soap to resurrect the situation [in the Starbucks sink]!!...  Not all heroes wear capes!