Open Bar Blues

Nothing brings me more joy in life like an open bar.  My liver just twitched at the sound of that... in sheer horror.  You see, whenever I go to a house party or open bar event, I have an irrational fear that the alcohol is going to run out, and God forbid I am left drinking something non-alcoholic.... -So naturally, I drink as much as I can, as fast as I can!  

I recently attended the Moschino Resort 2019 runway show after party (OPEN BAR, Thanks Jeremy Scott!!).  At these types of events, the bartenders are only allowed to serve one drink per person (to prevent people [like me] who would order 17 vodka sodas for themselves).  Thinking I would outsmart the system, I ordered a vodka soda for myself, and a tequila soda for my "friend" [cue me pointing to a random stranger with their back to the bar, 15 feet away from me].  This went on for many, many rounds [of cocktails].  Needless to say, I woke up a hot fucking-mess.  Mixing vodka and tequila is never a good idea.  When I felt human again, days later, I wondered to myself...."Why didn't my hypothetical "friend" also drink vodka soda?!"  For being so smart I have some pretty questionable judgement calls.  Karma (for being the free drink Hamburglar) comes in the form of a gargantuan hangover!  Well played karma...well played.