How Are You?

The other day it dawned on me the alarming number of times a day I get asked "How are you?"  When I order my coffee...enter the gym...the millions of e-mails I receive while working out...the friendly employees at Trader Joe's...the Starbucks staff again...  By 8:30 a.m. I have literally been asked 'how I am' a bazillion and a half times.  But does anyone really care how I am doing?  I would love to be brutally honest.  "How are you?"  -"I am moody and messy
I get restless and it's senseless how you never seem to care"  Oh wait silly me, that's an Ashlee Simpson song(I wonder how she is?  She disappeared). 

Lets try this again, "How are you?"  "I'm feeling fucking shitty.  I woke up today and that was a huge disappointment.  I am completely exhausted which is focal to the world with these giant bags under my [dead-in-the-eyes] eyes.  This low-carb diet I am on to help my disgusting body is making me extremely bloated and uncomfortably constipated.  My deviated septum is really driving my sinus infection into the marathon of death. I was greeted this morning with another patch of psoriasis, an adult bacne situation that I am trying to ignore, and I think I have a new claw to add to my crows feet collection.  It's also great to see my giant varicose veins are continuing to grow at a rapid pace, all making me look just about as shitty as I feel!"  Instead, I just politely smile and say, "I'm fine."  Small talk drives me absolutely insane which doesn't help with my morning rage...but I just have to remember that it is these people's job, and that they are getting paid to greet me.  They are probably hating being nice to me, just as much as I do to them. 

But seriously how are you guys?