CBS Surviver: WEHO

If you haven't seen my Instagram story, I have applied for CBS Survivor!  This obviously means I will be cast... and obviously means I will win... So I basically won a million dollars!  


I thought what a perfect show for me.  I can lose weight, get a tan, go to an exotic island and get rich... All while living out my "13 year old self's" dream of being a reality star!

I am confident in my abilities to win this show...but my (hating) friends have a lot of opinions, "But Sektual, you don't even eat leftovers, how are you gonna survive?"  First of all, give me a million dollars to eat yesterday's dinner from the fridge, and this bitch will eat... even if it's a complex carbohydrate!  Second, I plan on winning all the reward challenges so I will be eating better than ever, duh.  Maybe you should focus more on your eating habits rather than what I am putting in my mouth.  Thank you for your inquiry.


The people who really know me have been wondering, "But Sektual, you can't go #2 anywhere but in the privacy of your own home, how will you make an excretion in the wild and in front of the world?"  ...If you give me a million dollars to take a dump, this bitch will shit.  When you gotta go, you gotta go.  -And if you are gonna rain on my Survivor parade you can go too! 


As unsupportive as my friends have been; I feel like I have been preparing for this show my entire life!  So many of these "skeptics" (friends) have been blindsiding and back stabbing me for years...Atleast in the Survivor environment, I can vote off these Felicia's, instead of running into them at social gatherings!  ...If only I could bring a parchment to the bars.  "You are loud, arrogant, and uneducated..."  The [bar] tribe has spoken...BYE Felicia!