A wise man once said (actually I don't know if he was wise, or just an alcoholic)... "Beer before liquor, never been sicker...Liquor before beer, you're in the clear." 

This song holds such special meaning to me.  I played it on repeat when I moved to LA.  At 18 I was still a child... 

I have already given up on my summer body.  Being cremated is my last chance at a smoking hot body.  Summer comes around, and I transform into Gumby.

...or is my life just falling apart?  I think I am bipolar.  Not in my mood, but my actual life is bipolar; Extreme highs and plummeting lows.

I got some interesting "feedback" from my post titled "American't"  I was simply stating an opinion.  I appreciate your opinion...I suggest with all your free time, you can make your own blog with your own opinions instead of sending angry e-mails about mine.

Nothing excites me more in life than a celebrity mugshot.  I have been having such nostalgia lately!  Maybe it's because it's the 10th anniversary of The Hills, which is aging me... But it literally feels like yesterday seeing Audrina at Area Nightclub.

What does it mean to be an American?  Don't let this red-white-&-blue outfit fool you...I have no idea!  I think I was meant to live in Mexico.  At least I could legally medicate myself (Tijuana!)

...And diluted pupils can blow your cover.  Keep them eyes quiet!  Lord knows I can't keep my mouth shut to save my life.

Apparently myself, and Rob Kardashian have more in common than just our insatiable hunger...our love of Black.  In my case it's CHARCOAL.  His being (Blac) CHYNA. 

I have come to realize that as American's, we are pretty fucking lazy.  Obesity and unemployment rates are sky rocketing, while education and leadership scores are plummeting... and some people are too lazy to even text a bitch back.

...I am actually neither, but apparently sex sells...so I am just figuring out where to advertise.

I think it's so funny how people always say, "treat your body like a temple"  ...I consider mine more of an amusement park...or circus (some might say).