New York has an energy that is so rare!  When I was a kid everyone had energy…People now are so busy, stressed, and working so much, that everyone is tired!

When I decided to move to NY eight years ago, I had such a different idea of where my life was headed. 

True Love is Rare...Booty, Booty, Booty, Rockin' Everywhere!

I have given up on finding true love...  much like I have given up on college, my diet, and saving my reputation.

The homeless people in LA live a better quality life than me.  They already look better than me... with their perfect tans, model skinny bodies, and their perfect sun-kissed highlighted hair.

...when your eBay Pokémon costume from China arrives November 1.  This pretty much sums up my life.

I say some crazy things... Luckily, my friends at @overheardla help me remember some of my infamous quotes. 

Just because Cady Heron wore army pants and flip-flops (Mean Girls) doesn't mean it's acceptable for you.

I want to express the importance of eye care.  I didn't care about eye care ...until now!  Let me explain.  I am very irresponsible when it comes to money.  I would much rather buy a new pair of shoes than get health insurance

I'll prefix by stating that I love my apartment.  It was actually a Craigslist find... which is the best thing I found on Craigslist...besides all the "Missed Connections" (of course). 

...and I'll leave you like it's funny.  I have no time for people who take my time for granted.  Trust booboo, I am a very busy boy...

I have a new favorite word.  Years of working with the pedestrian public, I get asked the most ridiculous questions.  I'd love to reply to all these crazy inquiries with a giant "Fuck You!" but I simply [slightly] roll my eyes and say "SHURE."

Having had many questionable spray tans in my day, the color orange has always been a sensitive subject for me.